I've been so lazy that I procrastinated thinking for probably the past year. 

I've come to realise many a things. 

Unless stimulated to think, I would prefer not to and lead a simple life of blissful ignorance.
So now what, now that I've been forced to, I've come to a conclusion that I have alot to think about.

I realise now the signs have been blatantly obvious. How could I have not noticed?
I've just been avoiding having to deal with it haven't I.
Like most things in life, I would just love to leave it be and hope for it to settle by itself. 

Also the past few months, my focus has been so bad. 

Either I have been focusing on the wrong things aka stupid delusions 

or the will power to focus on anything has just left me. 

It's so bad that I can't even concentrate on writing a blog post or read a freaking novel. 

Thus the lack of updates. I've had plenty of time so there's no excuse there. 

This lazy streak in me blossomed over the passed one and a half months that I've been here. 

It made me this utterly uninspired person with an unexisting personality or depth. 

I became, or am still this hollow shell of a person that has yet to realise this most of the time.
This shell remains closed at many a times, when it opens it releases this veracious amount of conspicuous emotions and thoughts I never thought I had because I refused to dwell or think about them.
How is it that everyone else is going through these stages and yet I'm still so nonchalant.
I hear them now abit clearer then before, these words of repetition, 

where they replay memories from the past and regurgitate them to my ears. 

Yet all I've done is ignored and impatiently dismissed every single word.
Petulance is the word to define this.

Now the time to reflect. See as of now I am already losing interest in writing this down aka also thinking about the important things. The more I do the more tired I feel, plus the fact that it is now 5am isn't really helping either. I've yet to even come to the deeper topics that I need to think about. argh.
One thing you should know is, I hate imposing on others but I love the company of doing things together.
ok now it's getting random. I shall edit this later on...... maybe. 

On a lighter note the thing's I've been upto. Attended rach graduation last month, only made it in time for a few pics and a dinner with her fam later onwards. Hope you're enjoying things back home rach :)
Last week attended a few of my uni mates grad. 

ah time sure is passing, then we had dinner in Beverly Hills it was free XD 

and some drinks at the local RSL. 

but oh I should really stop whining about my dwindling social life. 

really need to learn some temperament.

p.s im feeling abit better now. Hopefully I will keep up thinking about what I should hahahaa =.="